first day of term 4!

was gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, and lethargic.

gut-wrenching because i was hungry at 9. like whut? how can anyone be hungry at 9? because i overslept and didn’t eat. har har har.

heart-stopping because i got quite seriously shocked during aep. over…you know…and having the whole sec 3 class plus two people plus mr c staring at you is also quite nervewracking.

lethargic because i have the right to. just because. and it’s the first day of term 4, though it doesn’t feel like it, because i’ve been mooching around mac lab for every school day the past week.

lets see…i’ve used ‘because’ 7 times, including this one! RECORD (:

benefits of shooting club

it trains your trigger finger to do weird things. i just saw a bit of some old hk drama my mom’s watching about some police training academy thing and it says the right way to fire a gun is to bend your finger 90degrees. like only the mid-joint moves. if anyone wants a demo, grab a passing shooter.

and yes it is the training. because i can’t do it with my left hand.

I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

WHY IS EVERYONE REVISING?!?!! WHY AM I NOT REVISING?!?! I NEED TO BE REVISING!!!

I SPEND MORE TIME IN SCHOOL THAN AT HOME.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWORK.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWOK.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWHACK.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWHUMP.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWHOMP.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWILT.

BECAUSE OF COURSEWAIL.

BECAUSE OF COURSE US AEP STUDENTS HAVE TO COPE WITH WHAT WE PUT UPON OURSELVES. PEOPLE SAY TO US THAT WE’RE PRO AND CAPABLE TAKING AN EXTRA SUBJECT, BUT BEHIND OUR BACKS THEY SNIGGER AT OUR STUPIDITY AND STUDY TO MAKE US DESPISE OURSELVES.

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CAPS LOCK IS A VERY HANDY KEY.

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and so is the indicator light at the top right hand corner of this laptop.

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but too bad. no matter how hard you study, sometimes you’ll still be stupider than some of us. call me elitist. i won’t deny it. i’m a pragmatist. i won’t deny that either. if you don’t have redeeming qualities, you don’t. no point comforting you that you may have some, buried deep down in you.

so stop glaring at me with those eyes of loathing, because i’ll get a mirror and send it right back at you.

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italics is a very handy embellishment.

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blogging is really carthartic.

i shall exercise my right

like james tan keeps telling us to do so. and emily and i keep telling him that we can exercise the right to remain silent.

anyway. this post is not about rights. okay so it is. a little bit. my freedom of speech and belief.

the main point is (stop beating around the bush, myself!) i find christians have a certain aura. or impression that they give off. or somewhat like that. it’s like they emit calm and contented vibes. which makes people feel at ease. but because i’m paranoid i start feeling alarmed that i’m at ease. it’s like bernard marx from brave new world (aldous huxley) being unnatural when happy and on soma. or maybe like marvin the depressing robot from the guide (douglas adams) and being constantly acceptingly unhappy.

the point is. i feel weirded out when other people emit peaceful vibes. it makes me extra paranoid. no offense to christians.

case examples! rubin. can always make me smile. and she’s so accomodating. and nice. and can stand my randomness. and manages to be sort of a guai kia even though i’ve influenced her to eat in class. and sleep in class (only sometimes though. rarely even.) main point, she makes me feel at ease.

next. my nafa friend. whose in st. nicks. and she’s super nice. and a bit like rubin in demeanor, except for a few big differences. but the reason i feel they’re similar (even though others don’t) is because they both share the same accommodating spirit towards me. now this is different from jenny’s okaysoyou’relikethatiacceptthat thing. it has a…wider range of bao rong.

next. mr sim. he unnerves me because what he says makes me extra paranoid. otherwise there’s the same peaceful aura. period. probably because the similarity between him and someone i know (very well) in being an introvert forced into the cruel world of extrovercy.

okayokay so 3 isn’t a lot of examples. but i don’t have a lot of examples. so:

feel free to contradict me. in fact, exercise your right of free speech. and whatnot. or you could always exercise your left. balanced workouts are always good.

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mr lim is imagined to be prowling around the art room with a popsicle in his mouth. and going ‘hmmmm’ intermittently. he is also imagined doing the exact same thing with a banana. and totally creeping out the people (who are working) that he happens to be standing behind when going ‘hmmmm’.

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EDIT:

after an hour of angsily playing my exam pieces, which include a wonderfully angsty beethoven, i realise the thing that unnerves me. sincerity. right-o. probably because i don’t like people seeing the good in me. hmm.

the school is evil

i think it’s really evil how every single trace of mr lim has been erased from all school links. i mean, the school should at least have a page which writes ex-teachers or something. they don’t teach for years and waste their youth and not get any acknowledgment for nothing.

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hsk was hilarious (: the paper setters never get tired of writing lame stuff. i mean, the piece of paper at the train station? and the engraved ring?
and me being proficient in chinese?

don’t kid me.

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i want a pet duck because it’s so stupid it makes me look clever.